Having just returned to the U.S. from my 5th trip to China, I thought I would share some cultural insights. I decided to comment about social relationships. This idea came to me after my return from China while visiting a neighbor's house here in the U.S. to discuss a small matter. The entire conversation took place through the screen door. It seemed strange. Here are some interesting points about Chinese friendships.

1. Any visitor that comes to the door is immediately and enthusiastically invited in. Of course offers of drink and food will follow. This is before any questions of why you came.

2. Often visits are un-announced or perhaps a quick phone call just before you come over. If un-announced and if nobody is home, that OK, just keep going. To the Chinese person in the US, arranging a visit one week in advance sounds very strange.

3. The in the U.S., many of our relationships are separated into groups. That is, we have our co-workers on the job and most time we don't socialize too much with co-workers outside of the workplace. We have a neighborhood, family, church, special interest groups. Usually our acquaintances in these groups do not know each other. In China, it is common to socialize with your co-workers outside of the workplace. This is even arranged by the managers in the workplace. Since everyone lives closer together, people in your various circles will often meet each other.

4. Anyone who has been to China know that this is a culture of hospitality. On any occasion and often without much preparation, a feast is prepared at home or arranged in a restaurant. Anyone who has visited China definitely does not go hungry. In the restaurant, it is common for one person to pay the check even if there is 10 people eating. How to decide who pays? You must argue with one another over who pays. Everyone wants to pay the check. For the Chinese person looking at Americans in the restaurant carefully calculating how much everyone pays seems very strange. It seems that there is some distance between them.

In summary, the Chinese spend much more effort in developing and maintaining social networks. There is a wider circle of friends and people know each other's life much more. This is beneficial when the difficulties of life come. I am not referring to the much written about guanxi which is more formal dealing with position and status. In writing these observations, I am not judging one culture over another but rather just pointing out the differences I have seen. I am an American and much more individualistic which is culturally comfortable for me.